When in morning I got up, something pricked me inside. I was my conscience, actually forgot to get up early in morning as I promised myself to and exercise. Man, I getting worsen and worsen. My mood was so gloomy, so was the weather outside. It was cold and I shuddered. Today I felt how far I m from the people who loved me. The warmth of their love cannot reach me here. I also didn’t prayed last night to give a good day tomorrow. I was busy in writing the blog. I guess , he didn’t like it. I was ready to face the consequences.
By the way last night I sketched one his portray, by keeping image in my heart as a vision. I thought maybe this will rejoice me and him both. I did finished 80% of the sketch, with little coloring. But it was not enough for him. It’s a big one that I had tried to portray. Actually I thought if he is my ancestor then how he would have looked.
As Hanuman is a monkey god, I actually don’t agree to the theory properly. But I still believe men can have tail. Basically my theory has evidence too. But let it be my point is not to prove his existence. My point is interpreting Hanuman’s sketch in my way. I believed Hanuman was Prince so he will more like a Greek God physique. As I felt always he is synonym of power and strength of a man. So started with it and I somewhere, was not comfortable with his monkey face. I made it as of supremely human. He was ideal for any man to seek power. And his face expression is humble. In the starting I was nerves. But in the end was sweet sense of achievement. I did it. And I don’t need any superficial applause.
Man, I m really, in a trap I guess, a trap of pessimism. My ability to think is going worsen. After so many days I did something positive.
So after reaching office, I saw my senior was there as usual, we shared greetings. And that’s all. I did nothing in the whole day, just sat on the chair and waited for somebody to come and chat with me. I know I was doing a crime. I guess this feeling is there with me since the starting of this week.
What to say. I m in a fix, when I tried to concentrate, I think only about her, did she ditched me, if not then what’s the harm in sharing a thought. Why she is acting so cruel to me. Why ? I guess remembered her every birthday, I tried to be with her in every special moment. I told her my every up and every down. This is not a fair game at all. After her this kind of behavior, my inner self is cutting me inside, what made me do these many things to her, when she doesn’t bothered. I guess I m the dumbest dodo in this world. And I should extinct.
Later in the afternoon, I started searching my old seniors; I found so many faces, with whom I have spent quite a time. They all are now in a great state; my brain started fetching old files again. Those days and how I use to be. My O’my, great lord was so much happy with me. I had only and only fun in life.
Till the evening I have seen some episodes of Third rock from the Sun, and called it a day. I’ m really useless fellow.
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