Evolution:Ploturian

Hi, this is a body that’s writing first time in its life history, without consensus of the soul. Actually this is not a mourning letter or regretting speech.  This body actually experienced lot of changes through the course of time. But soul inside never changed, that’s why whatever is going to be mentioned here will be totally factual rather than cursing somebody. So this is a disclaimer that this is not to hurt anybody   or to change his/her opinion about things happened.

 

So I begin as a person, as a human being. As I grew up in this world, so called hell like, I found people desperate to achieve something. They daily come up to school with missions, motto and targets, which they do get at the end of the day, where as I was always motto less, this reference was about my school days. I always did what I liked, what I felt, what I actually felt I want! These things always hindered me from achieving anything. I never won anything, I never achieved anything. My parents never got a privilege of getting a successful son. A son on whom they can proud of. I never ran any race. All this somewhere was sitting inside me. I started searching reasons, false or true, to not been able to do. Mentality was building up and a personality was shaping up. God gave me talents and loads of them cannot explain you how many, but those talents were worthless as my school studies where I cannot do math properly. I was very bad in mugging up things, or me sitting and reading school book after school was a torture .thanks to my Mom she never forced me into. I guess she also didn’t had any clue what a school kid should do, sometimes she use to help me by doing my home work referring another s notebook. She loved me and she didn’t want me in any torment. Some teachers were impressed my different views and ways. But majority lied with good students. Definition was clear no marks, no respect.

I was happy and hardly bothered about future. The thoughts about getting marks and getting appreciated were too far for my brain. I lived a mysterious life of doing nothing. I never did any holyday home throughout my life. There was a vacuum in my thinking ability and Math was monster. What I dreamt was too stupid for students or fellows to understand to. I never shared it. I wanted to have loads of pets, wanted to keep them with me. Always dreamt of their growing families and wanted to join Menaka Gandhi and save all the animals those gets ill treated by humans. I have developed a kind heart and soft personality. I found myself many times not able to hit anybody, thinking he may get hurt.

My way of passing time was to see Television as much possible. I explored my ability to see and remember, to see action and understand. I never knew this will come handy in solving one of the biggest problems I faced in my life, not been able to read. I started remembering all that a teacher said in class with diagrams and sketches. Later on I discovered my writing skills, reality says I m a confused writer and I go much irrelevant than topic needs. It helped me in writing long answers that I cannot even think of and started getting passing marks.

I always had information given by the teacher or anybody who speaks or discusses, there was a problem

I cannot think beyond what’s been told by them. So solving a problem or a math sums was still impossible for me.

Later few of TV channels helped me in creating an interest in History and science, and they both were like theories, write the answer as been said.

 

All these events proved me very bad student in learning anything in my life. I got loads of talent default in my character that I never rehearsed. Whenever I wanted to do those stuffs I did and later I found that sometimes I’m the only one the class with that ability.

I cannot ignore the odd attraction I got due to the talents. But as there was no one else with them so no training or nurturing them. Sometimes it was an ugly ducklings story.

So till my fifth standard I was pathetic and passed only minimum marks.

Then something happened which I never thought of, my brain actually started responding as I joined a new tuition. They elderly people and their focus were to judge what teacher will teach today, and give me an introduction in morning itself. In evening they use to ask me to what I got as homework and they helped me out in doing so.

This schedule actually forcefully pushed me to cover some ground in studies, apart from math I excelled in all other subjects and ended up in 11 and 13 in the rank tally.

This opened me new way of thinking, I started listening what people say, and I started approaching people first time without any doubts in heart. I was getting confident and only motto of my life was how many corrects I can do. I was least bothered about result, only after coming from school I should be able to say my mom and tutor that I did amazingly well today morning.

I used to wake up early 2:30 am for studies; my parents first time bought one gas-lamp because of power cuts in morning. And I moved quite steadily for two years.

Teachers started recognizing me; I had first time so called friends who bothered about me, named as Chirag kansal and Sunny Nirwan. With sunny I never acted well, always teased him as he was little dumb character, still he stayed with me as a friend.

Now I was such a good in studies that I knew what teacher can expect from us and first time I started recognizing exam papers question familiar one and can be answered as well.

If we talk about sports I was too small and fragile to play any sport. I was too weak to kick a football and to run as fast as others can. We used to play football with stones and never had clue where stone is. Whenever I played I remember either I was hurt badly in my legs by other’s shoes or got my shoe wide open at front.

So sports were also out of scope as nobody gives a chance to fragile and small, literary sportily invisible.

Life was amazingly limited and focused. For me three things were in there in the world Madame David’s class, my Television and my tuition.

One of the incidents, I remember is, we got a project in classroom. The project was really simple one, A First Aid Box. But as students we very excited there were some numbers attached to it, which were going to be added to report card. We all gathered best of the medicines some people had parents as doctors so they help them out .Some kids had elder brother or sister who knew what to be delivered. All this actually turned up into a raw fight of streets. People with good amount strength (interested parents and lots of money) started bringing very expensive and more than required stuffs. This was the first time in my life I understood that I hail from a lower middle class. Instead getting a good and strong box, I got a n old shoe box, that was used by my father. So my mother asked me to return it after the project is done. Instead of putting a paper brought from shops (stationers) I covered the box with opposite side of the old calendar paper. Good thing about that paper was its gloss. I used old sketch pen by putting water from the back side, drop by drop to keep them working. Also I had very few amount of medicines in the house as nobody was severely (which was the good part).This created another situation as I got whole 10 rupees to get all the medicines in need. It looked great to me because I rarely had 10 rupees by that age. But when I reached the Medical Shop I found too less to fulfill my aspirations. I had no other option but to go with key Medicine for general use.  It was difficult to see myself standing with such an ordinary stuff, in front of whole class. I came to home and asked my mother to help me collecting little more stuff. She said that best thing possible is ask the required from the neighbor aunty and return it after the project completion. Also with a set of warnings about keeping their stuff well and do not let father know about all this borrowing stuff. I didn’t have lots of stuff and didn’t have any ideas too. When I reached school it was warm day. There was dust in air and air was blowing hard. As I was in second shift we have to wait for a long hour to get into our class rooms. That period we use to spend in an area back side of our building called “Paahaarh”, translation results in mountain. But it was a kind of open theatre area which was keep rising after each step and was quite high for us, small kids. Its height was twelve feet plus and had small hole in the ending wall. It was an ideal place to sit and talk as the tall wall stopped the heavy wind. We all can sit on green grass and talk. Some kids play football with stone on stage which was covered with asbestos on top. It was one mine favorite place.

So after reaching our social point I found all the gals with their heavy boxes with big Polythene bags. It was surprise as well as disappointment. My box was so small that it came all together in my 2 year old bag. They all were talking about F.A.B and how many medicines they got. Some bought dressing wools (big one), wound bandages and muscle bandages. I tried to avoid their eyes went straight to the stage. Though I never played football there, because of the shoes, I had no choice. In starting I did some kicking but I was surely not enjoying it. So I stood alone. I wanted the time to pass as soon as possible. And it was going in slow motion. After half an hour everybody started rushing towards the gate. We usually made quos to enter the school at the same time first shift people use to come out of school. This always created a messy situation and as I was so absent minded, due to the whole situation. I forgot that my F.A.B was in bag. As we made the queue, as always, some people started pushing from back side. It actually turned into a heavy force from behind.  People in starting row also pushing back according to the force applied from back. I was a fragile kid, small and weak. I was moving to and fro in accordance to queue. My brain suddenly responded, the thought came to my brain. The F.A.B was inside, my efforts and my hope of yesterdays night. I tried my level best to get out of that queue. I struggled for at least two minute and after then I was out with strong force. This momentum was so strong that I couldn’t control myself and here I go. I was on the ground. With soaring hands and dirty clothes, I rose and walked a little, till I was out that crowd. I opened my bag I saw my F.A.B was totally squished inside the bag. The dettol bottle got broken from the neck and all things were messed. I had tears in my eyes and I wanted to run away from school. I didn’t know where to go. I bunked the zero period. I wanted to bunk more but one peon found me sitting all alone and he made a move, I understood what he was up to. Either he was going to call P.T.I or worst case Principal. I left that place immediately and moved inside the building. My classroom was first class from the door I entered and I found my teacher straightly heading towards me. I she said your name is “loveleen”? .I nodded, she no worry as I knew she is asking for attendance. But I had no place to go, I entered the classroom. I took my chair and I was nowhere till the interval. In last period we had to submit our projects. In interval I ate my lunch, which more likes eating dettol as box smelled very badly of it. That time sunny came and asked what the problem is. I had no clue what to say. I shown him the F.A.B, and asked him what should I do. He advised to request madam to relieve me for a day and submit it tomorrow.

I knew worst is yet to come, all the period I was little relaxed as sunny told me lot of people are absent today and many of them have not brought their stuff. At least I have something to show. I was happy by the idea as if majority has not brought their stuff, I may get a bail out.

The final period came madam entered with her angry face. She started shouting in no time as she entered. Her agenda was why so many people are absent on project day. All the perfect tens (toppers) were present with their stuffs ready and as madam saw face of topper ready with red colored plastics box with red cross embarked on it. She offered a pleasant smile to those fellows. She said as there is lot of work with her, she has devoted just a day for this proceeding. And so she not is going to back off.

She said she will all today and people who will show tomorrow gets marks out of three fourth of the marks. They will lose their one quarter of marks. This was a nuclear bomb on my head, I was suddenly Japanese and she was an American pilot. My heart was in throat and beating heavier and heavier. But truth was I was not worst hit. People, who were present without projects, were all gone in coma. I decided to make a move. Sunny is roll number was very farther to me. I asked him to help me. He was a dumb character and he didn’t respond in which I anticipated. At end I begged him to help me with this. He was confused as well as sacred by the whole situation. If he is caught he will hanged for giving water to prisoner.